


i'll give you what you need

by languish



Category: Bohemian Rhapsody (Movie 2018) Actor RPF
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Nightmares
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-29
Updated: 2019-12-29
Packaged: 2021-02-27 06:08:57
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,038
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22022329
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/languish/pseuds/languish
Summary: Rami doesn’t tell him about the dreams. Nightmares, really. He doesn’t want to burden Joe with them. It’ll only make him worry.Joe finds out anyway and decides to do something about it.
Relationships: Rami Malek/Joe Mazzello
Comments: 8
Kudos: 29
Collections: Mazlek Fic Exchange 2019





	i'll give you what you need

**Author's Note:**

  * For [sweet_symphony0](https://archiveofourown.org/users/sweet_symphony0/gifts).



> This is very different from what I normally write, but I enjoyed the challenge! I hope you enjoy it!

Rami wakes up with a start. His breathing is heavy and he’s sweating so much his t-shirt is damp. Joe’s still fast asleep beside him, an arm curled around Rami’s waist. He’s snoring lightly.

Rami wishes he could sleep that peacefully.

He can’t remember the last time he got a full night’s sleep. When he tries to close his eyes, his dreams keep coming back to haunt him.

The nightmares aren’t new. They’ve been happening for weeks now. They started out fairly simple: dreams about messing up lines and everyone laughing at him or saying the wrong thing in an interview. But then they turned into something darker. Nightmares about accidents on set gone horribly wrong. Nightmares about something happening to his family or Joe. About Joe leaving him for someone more attractive, talented, and emotionally stable.

The last one made him wake up sobbing. It still haunts him even when he’s awake.

Rami doesn’t know what to do. He’s so tired. 

He tries to forget the dream and go back to sleep. But he wakes up again an hour later, his heart pounding. He’s grumpy when he goes off the work that morning, grumpy when he comes home later that day.

Joe is worried. He touches Rami more than normal, small, comforting brushes of his fingers.

“You okay?” Joe asks.

“Yeah, just tired,” Rami says. It’s not even a lie.

It goes on like that for a few more days. Rami barely gets a wink of sleep and he spends the day moody, ready to snap at anyone who so much as looks at him the wrong way. 

He almost starts crying in frustration one afternoon when he goes into the kitchen and they’re out of coffee creamer.

Joe, darling man that he is, darts out to the corner store and gets some for him. Rami, complete mess that he is, almost starts crying when Joe returns with it.

“I don’t know what’s wrong with me,” he says.

Joe’s eyes are sad and soft when he looks at him. “It’s okay. You’ve been having a tough month. I know filming is difficult right now.”

“Yeah,” Rami says listlessly. 

Joe peers at him. “Anything else you’re worried about?”

Rami doesn’t tell him about the dreams. Nightmares, really. About how he keeps having dreams about fatal accidents or Joe leaving him forever. Just thinking about them in the daylight is enough to make him seize up in panic. 

He shakes his head. “No, just tired and stressed out from work.”

Joe looks like he doesn’t believe him. He’s quiet as they get ready for bed that night. When Rami crawls into bed, Joe immediately pulls him close.

“Try to get some sleep, okay?” he whispers. 

His arms are tight and warm around Rami. Rami tries to take comfort in that.

It doesn’t help much.

He wakes up halfway through the night, tears running down his face. The memory of Joe leaving him in his most recent dream haunts him. He can still hear the Joe in his dream telling Rami that he’s worthless and someone no one could love.

Rami has to bite back a sob.

He knows it’s not true. That it’s just a dream. But it doesn’t calm the pounding of his heart or the way his hands shake.

“You awake?” Joe asks groggily. He pats at Rami’s arm. His eyes are still closed, face still buried in the pillow.

Rami starts in surprise. He’s embarrassed that his nightmare woke Joe up.

“Go back to sleep,” Rami says. He doesn’t want to burden Joe with this. It’ll only make him worry.

“Okay,” Joe says sleepily. He tightens his grip on Rami, though it grows slack as he drifts back to sleep.

Rami waits until Joe’s breathing evens out. Then he gently wiggles out of bed. The air is cold when he slips out from under the covers. He darts into the bathroom and immediately turns on the shower.

He’s shaking by the time he steps into the warm water. The eyes are already pricking with tears as he stands under the hot spray. He’s exhausted. Stressed out from being run ragged at work, day after day. Miserable because he feels like he hasn’t slept in a week.

Joe’s awake, watching him sadly when he returns to bed.

“Tell me what to do,” he whispers.

Rami curls into him. “Just hold me.”

It’s easier to ask for help in the darkness. 

“I can do that,” Joe says.

Joe strokes his hands up and down Rami’s back. Rami lets the soft touch of his hands lull him back to sleep.

He doesn’t get much sleep, though. Only two hours pass before his alarm goes off. Rami’s had so many morning shoots lately. So many shoots that last until late into the night. Today is another twelve hours day.

Joe is already awake when Rami stumbles from the bed. There’s a pot of coffee waiting for Rami. A homemade breakfast sandwich is on the counter next to the coffee. 

The sight of it makes Rami want to cry. It’s so thoughtful and he doesn’t deserve Joe’s patience and kindness. Joe must know something is wrong by now. He’s been tiptoeing around Rami like he’s a volcano ready to erupt at any second.

“You need to take better care of yourself,” Joe says. He hugs Rami from behind. His hair is damp from the shower. “You haven’t eaten before leaving for set for the past few days.”

“I didn’t think you noticed,” Rami says.

“Of course I noticed. You were always in such a hurry to leave that I never had time to make you breakfast.”

Rami takes a bite of the sandwich. It’s delicious. Egg, bacon, and cheese. Just the way he likes it.

“Tell me you didn’t get up early just to make me breakfast.”

“Of course I did,” Joe repeats.

Rami wants to cry all over again.

“You deserve it,” Joe says, rubbing Rami’s back. 

Rami thinks he’s the luckiest man alive. His boyfriend is so sweet and caring.

Joe watches him carefully as he eats and gets ready for work. It’s a struggle for Rami to even get dressed. He’s so, so tired. He almost throws his shirt across the room in frustration when his fingers fumble too much to button it correctly.

“Here, let me,” Joe says. He helps Rami put in his shirt, his fingers swift. Rami feels like a fool for needing someone to help him with the simplest task.

“I’m sorry,” Rami says miserably.

“Hey, we all have bad days. Nothing to be sorry about,” Joe says. He kisses Rami’s forehead. “You helped me when my dad died. I never would have been able to manage without you.”

It doesn’t comfort Rami. Helping Joe through his grief is so very different from helping Rami when he’s being moody.

The thought worries at him as he leaves for set. Rami loves acting, but he doesn’t want to go to work today. He doesn’t know how he’ll get through it.

Truthfully, he almost doesn’t. Sam and Christian both notice something’s wrong, but it’s Carly who confronts him.

“You look awful,” she says.

Rami grunts, no energy in him to reply. He wants to yell at her, to tell her to leave him alone. 

“You need some rest,” she says, peering at him.

“I’m not a child,” he snaps. “I can take care of myself.”

She raises an eyebrow. “I’ll believe it when I see it.”

She’s right. Carly is like a sister to him. She has no problem calling him out and he’s grateful for it. He sighs and slumps into his seat.

“I haven’t been sleeping lately,” he admits. “It’s made me moody.”

She sits down beside him. “How’s Joe been handling it?”

“He’s been great,” Rami says and to his horror, he almost tears up again. “I don’t deserve him. He’s put up with everything.”

“He loves you, of course he’s going to take care of you,” Carly assures him. She pulls him into a hug. “Go talk to Sam. Explain what’s happening. He’ll give you some time off.”

“We need to continue filming. We’re on a tight schedule already,” Rami says.

“Go talk to him,” she demands. She pulls him out of his seat and nudges him out the door.

Sam, to his credit, understands. “We’ll wrap early today. No problem at all.”

“I’m sorry,” Rami says. He feels miserable all over again for delaying the shoot.

Sam shakes his head. “Go take care of yourself. That’s more important.”

Rami’s shivering from exhaustion by the time he makes it to the apartment. Joe meets him at the door.

“Sam and Carly both texted me,” he says sympathetically. He ushers Rami inside and leads him to the couch. “You can’t keep doing this to yourself.”

“I’m fine,” Rami says. He sinks onto the couch in relief. 

“Rami, you’ve been miserable for a week.”

“How did you know that?”

Joe kneels down at his feet and pulls off Rami’s shoes. “You haven’t been sleeping. You’ve been grumpy. You look like you’re about to burst into tears at any moment.”

Joe puts down Rami’s shoes and then holds out his hands. Rami looks at him confused.

“You haven’t asked for help, but it’s time I stepped in. I’m going to take care of you.”

He brings Rami into the bedroom. Rami tries to protest when Joe starts undressing him but Joe shakes his head.

“Let me do this for you, okay?”

It’s then that Rami notices a steaming cup of tea on the bedside table. “Chamomile,” Joe says when he notices Rami’s glance. “To help you sleep.”

His hands are gentle when they undress him and help him into a pair of pajama pants. Joe maneuvers Rami onto the bed. He situates them so he’s laying back against the pillows and Rami is laying on top of him, in his arms.

“Tell me what’s wrong. It’ll help to get it off your chest.”

Rami sighs. Joe might be right.

“I keep having nightmares.”

“About what?”

Rami chews his lip. He’s still embarrassed that his nightmares have been affecting him so much.

“Trouble on set. People realizing I’m a fraud,” he admits.

Joe hugs him close. “You’re one of the best actors of our generation. Anyone would be blessed to work with you.”

Rami sniffles, trying to hold back his tears. “That’s nice of you to say.”

“I mean it,” Joe insists. “You’re so talented. You deserve every award you’ve ever won.”

Rami smiles weakly. “I’ve dream about you too.”

“Not good dreams, I’m guessing?” Joe asks, his voice quiet and worried.

“No,” Rami says. He burrows into Joe’s arms and hides his face in Joe’s neck. “I keep dreaming that you’ve decided to leave me. You tell me that I’m worthless. That no one could ever love me. That you could do better.”

Joe is quiet for a long time. “You’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me, Rami. If anyone could do better, it’s you. I’m the one who doesn’t deserve you.”

“That’s not true,” Rami says. He shakes his head at the thought of it.

“Neither are your nightmares.”

His hands brush through Rami’s hair until Rami’s breathing settles and he’s as close to relaxed as he’s been in the past week. 

“You know that, right?” Joe asks. “You know how much I love you? How I’d never leave you?”

Rami nods, eventually. “I do.”

Joe kisses the top of his head. “The best moment of my life was meeting you twelve years ago.”

Tears prick Rami’s eyes again, but this time they’re happy tears. He doesn’t know what he’s done to deserve someone like Joe. He’s so caring, seeing Rami through his hardest moments and never once judging him for it.

“It was the best moment of my life too,” he says.

“Good,” Joe says. He grips Rami tighter and uses one hand to pull the covers up over both of them. “I love you. Don’t ever forget that.”

“I love you too,” Rami murmurs.

He falls asleep like that, safe and warm in Joe’s arms. When he wakes the next morning, he feels rested for the first time in weeks.


End file.
